Announcing a new online store: Soapy Duck Sales!

Just drive to the giant cowflop and you're at Shattco!

 Tired of the same old department store junk. Well, come on over to Shattco & check out our junk! Our mission is to only provide things that people actually want. Things like Snout-Grout and Lunar Panels. These items are hard to find and widely sought after! Check our partial catalog below. Happy shopping from owner William Shatt!

 

 

 

Even though The Super Shattco retail stores are gone, you can still buy all your favorite stuff at Soapy Duck Sales....see video on left!

HERE'S A LINK FOR I-PHONE & OTHER NON-FLASH USERS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  We're kicking off Shattco's new line of "Unhealthy Choice Snacks" with Red Bovine's old family recipe for Trailer Mix!

Perfect after a night of carousing and Ciga-Beer; or anytime you just want a good ol' fashioned snack!
 
  C'mon n' join Rev Al in stirring up a little anger and intolerance of your own.

Who doesn't love "America's Favorite Open Minded Spokesmen for All People", even though he sounds like he's yelling through a bullhorn. Kids will love the noisy, fun "Reverend Al's Bullhorn", and you'll love the 2 year income tax exemption!

Three handy settings: super loud, fuzz tone and "resist we much"!

Coming soon: Rev Al's alter-ego companion toy: Irreverent Al Action Figure. Included accessories include a generous supply of race bait & a hard-to-read teleprompter.

 
  It's About Time! Introducing CIGA-BEER!

Anyone who smokes knows that as you
 drink more beer,
 you want more cigarettes
:
 It's a scientific consensus
 more valid than global warming!

So, we've come up with a new
 version of Shattco Beer that has:
 
two filtered cigarettes
 and four matches
 "holstered" to each can
.
  
Enjoy!
 
 

Shattco / Soapy Duck is currently working feverishly to obtain gub'mit grants to build the first fully functional Lunar Panels. With the current  climate of investment in long shot "green" companies, we should be a shoe-in with this doozy of an idea!

If you'd like to get involved in the startup for this great "Green" venture, contact Shattco president Delbert Delp.

ddelp@shattcoindustries.com

Why hasn't anybody else thought of this yet? Simply because there is only one Shattco!

 
   
  Gas Backwards:

A clever little device that enables you avoid those embarrassing moments of noisy public flatulence. With Gas Backwards, you can magically throw your unwanted sounds across the room, just as a ventriloquist throws his voice.

"It's a modern day whoopie cushion!" -

-Moe Howard

 
 

New From Our Toy Department:

 The Credible Hulk! 

 He's not green...he's not angry...he's not bigger than life.

Credible Hulk is just a regular guy action figure that does regular things. Things like fixing the car, golfing, watching football, drinking beer, getting into the VIP room at the strip club... just things that  regular guys like to do. The kids should love realistic, life-like Credible Hulk.

Check out the accessories such as: 
Credible Hulk's lawn mower (non- ethanol fuel only)
Credible Hulk's strip club playhouse with Lucy Lapdancer action figure
Credible Hulk's AMC Pacer with a hood that opens & doors that fall off.
 
Shattco is concerned with maintaining a generic pastel-rainbow, non-offensive image in these recent times of fundamental change.

To that end, we commissioned everyone's favorite doo-wop group, The Fabulous Flatliners to record an entire cd of Sharia- compliant versions of "Great Amurican Standards" ! This is our effort to smooth the gradual acceptance of a new lifestyle of lowered expectations.

In a few short years, this may be the only cd you'll be allowed to own, so stock up now, my dhimmi friends !
Red Bovine's favorite breakfast treat! There's no "Safe Space" from these little bombs that go off in your face, in your mouth, in the box...(don't shake it)! ...anywhere! Pure excitement to start your day !

Not recommended for people with sensitivities to gunpowder, chocolate, sugar. May be unsafe for those with loose fillings or actual teeth.

Not recommended by The American Dental Association
 

 

With the grand opening of the newest Super-Shattco in Zolfo Springs, the perennial favorite "Bob's Circus" has a permanent home on the Shattco grounds. See all of your favorites like "The Bearded Man", "The Stripeless Zebra", "The World's Smallest Big Screen TV" and more.

Circus master Bob Poop invites you to spend a few action-packed circus minutes during your shopping adventure at Super Shattco!

For more about Bob's Circus, click here

 
 

Bad Mood Neck Rings: Shattco brings back a popular 1970s product with Bad Mood Neck Rings! Relive the earth-shoe, mood ring era with this popular Homoco re-release. Guaranteed to improve your mood just by the nostalgic effect it will induce. $24.99

   
 
 

 

 

Butt Putty is an enduring old favorite. When the need arises during that next big board meeting, just grab a dollop of this wondrous stuff and continue your meeting with confidence. Now in the smaller travel-size gallon can. $4.99 (includes can opener & stir stick)

 
 

Combat Tea Set: Always popular with the kiddies, Shattco & Homoco bring back the Combat Tea Set: the only tea set with little explosive charges built right into the cup handle. Watch out, you may hurt yourself having this much fun! Complete Set now only $99.99

 
 

Snout Grout was designed to be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Runny noses can be embarrassing, and downright uncomfortable. Snout Grout allows you to seal up that leaking cavity permanently, not just slow it down temporarily as other products do. This new product features "sticky-tack", Shattco's industrial strength glue that can suspend a 900 foot freighter over Niagara Falls when needed. $4.99

 

 
 

Ventilated Boxers: Let the good air in and the bad air out! These boxer shorts are cool in the summer, and give you a refreshing feeling on those days when you've got a case of the winds. Comes in two sizes: regular and heavyweight . $15.99

 

 
 

Tease Cheese: An old party favorite has always been tease cheese. Individually wrapped pieces of cheese with the plastic covering embedded into the cheese itself will keep your guests busy for hours trying to open these snack-tray food by-products! Not only will everyone have a great time, it'll save you money on your party supplies! $9.99  
 

Pork Chop Stix: A treat for those who love pseudo-pork that's cut into strips, deep fried, sheep dipped and 'nsalted.  And, they're shaped like little pigs! Shattco offers this tasty alternative to real food as well as many other artificially-concocted snacks. $12.99/DOZEN

 
 
  in honor of all those "Medieval Doers" out there...Shattco presents:

CLICK HERE FOR THE LATEST SHATTCO CRAZE: LAWN TRACTOR JOUSTING

 

 

 
       
       

 

We've expanded our music department to include all of the Sniff Brown Records Catalog. This, of course, includes the greatest southern rock/polka artists ever "The Fabulous Delp Brothers", "The Hawaiian Pineapples", and all of those hard to find Hot Mont releases

Thanks to the diligent restoration work of Dr. Anhav DuFwinque, the entire Hot Mont collection is here. Available on vinyl or 8-track ! We also carry the full collection of Mont's prophetic books. Here's your place for only music that people want!

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

  Rapper Tone Def takes on  monolithic Eminem

Popular re-release of a classic Features "Ock-Nok" & more!

   Possibly the worst band ever recorded!

  Dwarf Longbody: Australia's provocative answer to David St. Hubbins

No one was sure if this album even existed till now!

      Dick Biggs knows how to throw one heck of a polka party!

 

     A classic blending of folk & fodder!

 

    Put  this record on when you want the party to end pronto! You're gonna love Uncle Corny!

 

The Bones of Contention: Blow it Out Yo Butt: great trombone rap music for  'bone fans everywhere!

 

Champagne -era favs from "The Bones of Contention"  recorded live in an acoustically perfect  men's room!

 

Tacos and Turds: "The Bones of Contention"  tribute to The Tijuana Brass!

"Who Ordered the Clams" by The Bones of Contention!

Live recordings from this controversial late 70's punk/lounge band

Just some good ol' boys yippin' & yeowin

  A Lake Erie classic featuring "Vibrato Breath" singing "Hot as a Shark"

Dick U-lick's Versatile Polka Band wows the masses! 

The fabulous Impossibilities doo-wop vocal group makes a big comeback!

Classic tunes that rocked a generation

 

 

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